An eternal spot in football folklore is on the mind of Genclerbirligi owner Ilhan Cavcav, who has taken drastic measures to alleviate his players’ image in the public eye.
The moustachioed chairman has moved to outlaw beards, a well-known scourge of modern society, and will fine any of his employees he catches sporting facial fuzz £7,150.
“I am 80 years old, and I shave every single day…Man, is this an imam-hatip school? You are a sportsman. You should be a model for the youth,” said Cavcav.
This obscure mindset for a lip turf gardener to take must rank alongside the weirdest things to be eradicated across an entire football faction, but as far as crazy contraband goes, where does this beard ban rank?
Scolari’s sex ban
Forever looking out for the well-being of his players, former Brazil boss Luiz Felipe Scolari prohibited his players from venturing off the beaten track when engaging in the physical act of love before and during the 2014 World Cup.
“Usually normal sex is done in a balanced way,” he said, “But some like to perform acrobatics. We will put limits and survey the players.”
It is a wonder exactly how Scolari went about implementing these ‘limits and surveys’ and whether the stresses of doing so had a direct impact on the Selecao’s 7-1 semi-final mauling against Germany.
Hats off for Celtic
Neil Lennon, pictured above wearing a hat, banned the Bhoys from donning headgear during training sessions.
The reason for the enforced abstinence stems from the fact that players don’t wear hats on the pitch, so why do they need them in practice?
No sauce on the side at Sunderland
Paolo Di Canio’s attempts to rule with an iron fist didn’t go down too well amongst the Black Cats, though if he’d at least attempted to appear of a sound mind in front of his charges, results may have been better.
Banning tomato ketchup from the canteen on account of it doing ‘chemical damage to the liver’ sent out all the wrong messages.
Houston, we have a problem
Now this wasn’t a club-wide policy, but when Sunderland signed Stefan Schwarz in 1999, they inserted a clause into his contract to ensure the Swede was never voluntarily fired into space while he was on their books.
No fines would be incurred in the event of alien abduction.