Is there anything Sol Campbell can’t and doesn’t want to do?
The immensely successful former Spurs, Arsenal and Portsmouth centre-half has dipped his toe into the waters of acting, writing, fashion and interior design thus far.
With the launch of his latest autobiography came the news that the 40-year-old would be open to joining the Conservative party, ostensibly to help stop Labour bringing in a Mansion Tax.
The odds boffins at bwin.com offer evens that Campbell visits Downing Street before June 2015, plus the same price on the east Londoner appearing on Question Time before the start of next summer, but don’t really like his chances of gaining a House of Commons seat before the end of 2020 at 25/1.
Obviously, that got us thinking about a few other football people who have something to offer Her Majesty’s Government…
Rohan Ricketts – Foreign Secretary
The Premier League’s Special Envoy to Canada, Hungary, Moldova, Germany, Republic of Ireland, India, Ecuador and Thailand could make a seamless transition into Philip Hammond’s role when the current Foreign Secretary moves to the Treasury after May’s election, if his side win.
Ricketts may then face a challenge from Chancellor George Osborne, who is thought to be keen on the job swap, but while the Clapham man tends to packs his suitcase at the first sign of competition, this time it could be different.
Arsene Wenger – Chancellor of the Exchequer
If the big job at the Treasury does become available soon, there can surely be no better candidate for the gig than Arsenal’s gaffer.
Unlike the last Labour government, the Gunners managed to fix the Highbury/Emirates roof while the sun was shining and have spent frugally since, relying on a self-sustaining model that will benefit from firmed-up Financial Fair Play rules.
The only wonder is why Wenger hasn’t been given the job already, although an advisory team of Alisher Usmanov, Stan Kroenke, Pat Rice and Steve Bould may be confusing the issue.
Joey Barton – Minister for Liverpool
The QPR midfielder spouts out-of-context Friedrich Nietzsche and George Orwell quotes on Twitter, in an attempt to pass himself off as some sort of football oracle.
We’d send him straight to his home town, which had an unemployment rate of around 19% last year, compared to less than 11% nationwide, to see just what a talented boy Barton really is.
Such a move helped boost Michael Heseltine’s profile in the 80s. Could Joey Barton be the new Tarzan? We sure hope so.
Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher – Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister
When the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats went into coalition in 2010, many presumed Nick Clegg’s societal tendencies would rub Tory toff David Cameron up the wrong way eventually, causing a chaotic split.
The same was assumed of the partnership between affirmed Liverpool-hater Neville and overexcited Scouser Carragher on Sky Sports, which has been an even bigger revelation than Britain keeping it’s AAA credit rating with Standard and Poor’s, if not Moody’s.
Furthermore, the former footballers come across as actually likeable, and at least as intelligent as most political wonks, frankly.
Jose Mourinho – Special Advisor
Every political leader needs a top SPAD, and they don’t come much more special than Chelsea’s gaffer.
Just don’t let him negotiate the sale of gold reserves to Portugal.
James Milner – Minister for Agriculture
As Milner’s direct style of play is often described as such, we’re confident the Yorkshireman will do well at DARD.
Sir Alex Ferguson – First Minister of Scotland
The answer to Labour prayers as the Reds’ Glasgow stronghold crumbles in the face of SNP opposition.
Alex Salmond’s shuffle away from politics, following Scotland’s admirable yet unsuccessful tilt at self-determination, threatens to leave a huge void over the border.
Could Fergie be the man to fill it? Probably not.