The January light at the end of the long transfer-free tunnel between September and the turn of the year is now in sight and, in their elation, the nation’s favourite gossip peddlers have gone a bit loopy.
As a result, all kinds of purported switches have been dumped on our desktops this morning that even the wildest football fantasist will have instantly chalked up as unfounded gubbins.
Such is the degree of nonsense circulating, the news.bwin.com/en/ team have thought it necessary to unleash a beast so ferocious, so terrifying that Beelzebub himself daren’t put a foot out of line in his presence.
We call it the Rumour Kill and here’s what it’s feeding on today:
Petr Cech to Arsenal
Chelsea’s stalwart stopper is unsettled playing second fiddle to Thibaut Courtois this term and the Daily Star are insinuating that the Gunners have agreed a deal in principle to bring his spell at Stamford Bridge to an end.
For just £7m, the Czech net minder will be making the transition from west to north London, or so we’re led to believe.
The thought of Jose Mourinho agreeing to furnish an arch rival with a world-class talent for such an inconsequential (from a Blues perspective) sum of money instantly induces a furrowing of the brow.
Similarly, the thought of Arsene Wenger ditching Polish goalie Wojciech Szczesny when he’s finally producing consistently after seasons of comedy is also worthy of a laugh.
Plus, the skinflint Frenchman only recently shelled out cash monies for David Ospina, he certainly won’t be buying two keepers in one campaign.
Nathaniel Clyne to Liverpool
After it worked so well for Adam Lallana, Rickie Lambert and Dejan Lovren, it’s easy to see why another Southampton regular would be keen to ditch St Mary’s for Liverpool.
With the Saints embroiled in the Premier League title race (!!!) as the Reds languish in mid-table, there’s no chance Clyne will be heading to Anfield to compete with the two right-backs already on the books there.
Angel Di Maria to Paris Saint-Germain
Arguably the biggest fallacy presented to the masses this morning is the line that Manchester United will be ridding themselves of the man they paid a British transfer record to sign to fund a move for Gareth Bale or (they haven’t made up their mind on this HUGELY IMPORTANT matter y’see) Cristiano Ronaldo.
PSG – the club who, prior to Man Utd registering an interest, were in the box seat to sign Di Maria before deciding they couldn’t finance the move – are set to prosper from the Red Devils’ transfer guesswork.