Winning trophies aside, not a lot else sparks frenzy amongst football fans quite like that generated by the big-money moves and last-minute deals that are part and parcel of transfer window goings on.
Well aware of this, the more mischievous gossip peddlers in rumour land have a tendency to throw out titbits of tittle-tattle designed to induce said elation, despite the plausibility of the yarns they’re spinning ever coming to fruition rating close to zero.
Here are three recurring lines that won’t be realised in the final week of the designated January shopping spell.
Paul Pogba – Juventus to Chelsea/Manchester City/*insert big Premier League club here*
A midfield monster and still only 21, Pogba has the potential to become one of the game’s greatest ever players.
Following his departure from Manchester United in 2012, he has starred in multiple Scudetto-winning Juventus sides and was integral in guiding France to the World Cup quarter-finals last summer.
Old Lady chief Massimiliano Allegri this week accepted that Pogba ‘has a price’, prompting several sources to report a Premier League switch could be forthcoming.
What is that price? Oh, only £75m.
It’s the sort of money no financial fair play-abiding outfit could afford to shell out halfway through a season, so don’t expect to see the French tyro illuminating Match of the Day anytime soon.
Adil Rami & Joao Pereira – AC Milan & Valencia to Arsenal
According to Goal.com, Arsenal’s appetite for new defenders has not been sated by the recruitment of Gabriel Paulista.
Rami, a Rossoneri centre-back, and Los Che right-back Pereira are suggested further targets as Arsene Wenger looks to bolster his brittle backline, according to the website.
However, such speculation is difficult to believe given that the Frenchman thought his Gunners side would get by just fine with five senior stoppers and rookie Calum Chambers at the start of the season.
He certainly doesn’t want eight
Douglas Costa – Shakhtar Donetsk to Chelsea
For several seasons now the Brazilian conjurer has been linked with a move to London.
If it’s not Arsenal chasing him, it’s Tottenham and when neither are interested, the Chelsea links start.
Juan Cuadrado is the Blues’ top target and their failure to nail down priority number one is rare.
With that in mind, expect to Costa mooted for a moves to West Ham and QPR, all the way down to Leyton Orient, before Monday’s deadline.