The plot to West Brom’s acquisition of Dynamo Kiev striker Brown Ideye reads like a formulaic, but nonetheless effective horror movie.
Knowing exactly what’s going to happen punters have only to sit and wait for the inevitable disaster, yet the suspense builds and builds…
A £10m club-record signing (near doubling the previous benchmark) unknown on these shores, forsaken for the World Cup by Nigeria coach Stephen Keshi arrives.
Manager Alan Irvine has since told the Mirror “I don’t know much about Brown Ideye – I’ve not seen him live, but people we trust have done.”
So, all Throstles partizans can do is sit back and wait for the arc of claret as murderous reality bites down hard on the neck of their 2014/15?
Not so fast…
In his last five seasons, variously spent in the top flights of Switzerland, France and Ukraine, Ideye has garnered a double-figure league haul on four occasions.
Also eight times a scorer at continental and international level, the 5ft11in hitman notched in Nigeria’s African Cup of Nations triumph in 2013 – not bad going for a 25-year-old.
Even his moderate total of five goals in 19 appearances last term works out as a good deal better than a goal every other game given he only spent 717 minutes on the pitch.
Such a ratio makes the 19/20 on offer about him leaping the 8.5-goal mark in his first Premier League campaign an intriguing wager indeed.
Ideye’s pace has been mentioned a lot in dispatches, but to merely describe him as fast is to do his dribbling and off-the-ball thought a disservice.
He has a penchant for lurking in the kind of just-onside position that allows him to cut in and across defenders, catching them square and putting them off balance as he bears down on goal.
Meanwhile, the fact that Irvine has not viewed Ideye extensively in the flesh is to be expected given there has been little chance to see him in action since the Scot took the reigns.
In any case the Nigerian had been something of a heartthrob for the Baggies’ technical team long before the new manager’s arrival.
Speaking to local news organ the Express and Star, new technical director Terry Burton (wooed from Arsenal during the summer) suggested “when I arrived at Albion the recruitment department flagged Brown up as the man at the top of their wishlist.”
Baggies fans who thought they were paying their Sky subscription to watch the slow realisation of a harrowing horror film of a signing may yet come to realise they’ve walked into a love story instead.