Ice to Eskimos, coals to Newcastle, number tens to Manchester United – you name it and Chelsea can flog it…and flog it for a superb price.
Once Tottenham – with their £85m for Gareth Bale, £30.75m for Dimitar Berbatov and £19m for Robbie Keane – were out on their own in terms of salesman chops.
Yet in the wake of Romelu Lukaku’s £28m move to Everton even they may now be envious of the brass-plated chutzpa displayed on the Stamford Bridge forecourt.
Since Jose Mourinho swaggered his way back up the King’s Road, the Blues have recouped more the £131m in transfer fees from the sales of Lukaku, David Luiz, Juan Mata and Kevin de Brunye.
During the period since the beginning of summer 2013/14 they’ve made a loss of less than £50m, fairly modest by the standards of the oligarchically-bankrolled.
While Lukaku’s weight in gold is perhaps less eye-catching than it first seems, it remains nigh-on three times the amount they initially paid Anderlecht for his services.
The sale of Mata was arguably less generally consented to, but just short of a £15m profit on a man who was incapable of the kind of defensive contribution Mourinho demanded is pleasing business.
However, none of the other deals can quite match the flogging of the Brazilian international for hard-balling shrewdness.
Imagine Chelsea’s negotiators trying to keep straight faces as they sat down with the Paris Saint-Germain moneymen, scrawled ‘50m smackers’ on a napkin and slowly pushed it across the table.
Another player clearly deemed ‘iffy’ by the manager (and deemed ‘not a defender’ by club legend centre-half Frank Leboeuf), he was sold for almost double what he cost.
A nice season-long loan fee for Ryan Bertrand from Southampton is a further piece of smooth business that shouldn’t go without praise.
It remains to be seen what further rabbits the Blues, 19/10 favourites to lift the Premier League this term, can pull from the hat sales-wise this summer.
However, with Fernando Torres 2/1 to join Atletico Madrid, they could yet give the Mourinho era balance sheet an even more positive spin.