I must admit I’m a massive fan of pointless statistics. The other day for example, I read that eight out of ten people believe Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers used to sell double glazing before moving into football management.
I was also astounded to find out that Alan Shearer has just 17 follicles of hair left on his napper, the combined distance of Stoke’s long balls this season could have travelled to the moon and back four times, and Jose Bosingwa is 97.3% useless.
Obviously, next season’s bonus system in the Premier League – whereby teams are awarded additional points for pass completion rates, possession and territorial advantage – means we will further be engulfed in digits and decimal points, so a flick through the paper to find out how your team got on will resemble doing your tax return.
Anyhow, the bwin overlords asked me to do a piece on Chelsea’s season in numbers, so here it is.
It’s a mixed bag to be honest, with a few facts and a few fictitious stats pencilled in, coupled with some info which may help you plan your punts for next year, and a few which probably won’t. They don’t call me Vorderman for nothing.
0 – Games Tottenham Hotspur will play in the Champions League next season
0 – Trophies Arsenal have won since London was awarded the 2012 Olympic Games
1 – Team in Europe
1 – Frank James Lampard
2 – European titles held simultaneously by Chelsea
3 – Percentage chance of John Obi Mikel having a shot on target next season
4 – Major European trophies won by Chelsea
5 – League games Chelsea failed to score in
6 – Fans Rafael Benitez won over at Chelsea
7 – Different competitions Fernando Torres scored in
8 – Percentage of Victor Moses’ crosses which found the target this season
11 – Games lost with over 2.5 goals in the game
12 – Half-time draws in the Premier League
13 – Mirrors poor old Marko Marin must have smashed
14 – Different countries Chelsea played in
15 – League points lost from winning positions
16 – Goals scored in the Champions League group stage – the most in this year’s competition
18 – League points won from losing positions
18 – Different scorers for Chelsea this season, including own goals
21 – Percentage of Chelsea’s goals scored by strikers (Torres 23, Ba 6, Sturridge 2)
22 – Wins from 38 Premier League games
23 – Goals scored in the last ten minutes of games in all competitions
24 – Home games without defeat against Tottenham
25 – Premier League games where Chelsea scored first
£26 – The price of a pie at Stamford Bridge
27 – Games won in all competitions with over 2.5 goals in the game
28 – Players loaned out by Chelsea last season
29 – Minutes per chance created by Juan Mata in the league
30 – Average time of first goal scored in league games
30 – Goals from defence
31 – Games played in various cup competitions
34 – Away fans Wigan brought to Stamford Bridge
41 – Games in which both teams scored
44 – Average time of first goal conceded in league games
51 – Combined goals and assists from Juan Mata in all competitions
58.33 – Win percentage in all competitions under Rafa Benitez
69 – Games played in total
£70 – Potential return for new customers placing a free £20 bet on Chelsea winning the Premier League next year
82 – Chelsea goals from midfield
126 – Minutes per Frank Lampard league goal in 2012/13
145 – Goals Chelsea scored this season
174 – Players linked with a summer switch to Chelsea
203 – Goals Frank Lampard has scored for Chelsea
280 – Days from the first of Chelsea’s 69 games to the last.
321 – Minutes per Fernando Torres league goal in 2012/13
£490 – Potential return for a £20 stake on Chelsea doing the league and FA Cup double next season
6,240 – Minutes of football Chelsea played this season
£82,500,000 – Spent on transfers in the past 12 months
1 – Person who’s got this far down the list. Have you got nothing better to do?
For more nonsense, follow me on Twitter @bainesyDiego10