The ‘For Sale’ sign has been flapping in the breeze outside Villa Park since the curtain fell on the 2013/14 campaign yet, like a dilapidated manor with cracked foundations and chronic damp, owner Randy Lerner can’t find a buyer.
With the cost of renovations certain to add a fair wedge on top of the purchase price – which is sure to be north of the £62.6m Lerner shelled out for the west Midlands outfit back in 2006 – Aston Villa aren’t quite the marketable asset that their American bankroller would’ve hoped.
However, compare them to this quintet of bogus investments and it becomes clear that Villa isn’t quite the equivalent of a Siberian air conditioning sales start up as far as sure-fire financial failures are concerned:
With just eight players on the books – none of which can play in goal – and an increasingly shrinking stature within the soccersphere, the Tangerine army’s hopes that loathed owner Karl Oyston will sell up don’t look likely to be realised any time in the near future.
Fabio Borini for £14m
Despite considering him below their required standard, Liverpool have still managed to turn a £3m profit on the £11m they forked out for the Italian international, after suckering Sunderland into a transfer war chest-draining deal.
Borini’s desire to steer clear of Wearside in the long term may scupper the transfer, but the Reds negotiator who convinced the Black Cats to pay the price in the first place deserves commendation.
The Nicklas Bendtner guide to being an upstanding individual
And here’s the cover photo for the yet-to-be-released self-help manual:
England to win a World Cup ever again
The ante post odds on the Three Lions fatten with every passing tournament since their solo 1966 triumph and, despite in-camp insistence that on-pitch progress is being made, Roy Hodgson’s side suffered their earliest exit from the competition this year.
Success seems further away than ever.
Any striker who comes with the Roman Abramovich seal of recommendation
Chelsea fans will concur that Andriy Shevchenko and Fernando Torres confirm that the Russian oligarch’s money-making know how doesn’t extend to assessing on-pitch acumen.