Racked with fear at the thought of Arsenal, Liverpool or Tottenham ever solidifying their constantly speculated interest in Klaas-Jan Huntelaar with an actual offer, Schalke are believed to be readying a new deal for the Dutchman.
Ranking up there alongside the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy in the league of individuals whose supposed arrivals are forever imminent, but never materialise, those keen to see the 31-year-old in the Premier League will be waiting until the expiration of their final breath, so the Gelsenkirchen club may as well save the pennies.
If points were awarded per utterance from the media’s gossip gurus, Huntelaar would be one of the most decorated players in the game.
Here are four more perennial hoggers of back-page column inches who would rival the Dutch journeyman in the speculation stakes:
It’s hard not to sympathise with the chap burdened to pay Arsenal’s phone bill given the amount of time the north Londoners spend on the phone to Schalke officials.
German prodigy Draxler is a staple on Arsene Wenger’s shopping list, but the Frenchman won’t meet his asking price, leaving the door open for a move to fellow admirers FC Bayern Munchen, no doubt the youngster’s preferred destination.
Both Manchester City and Arsenal (who else?) have been accredited with interest in the legendary Real Madrid stopper since his freezing out of Los Merengues’ side.
Part of the Bernabeu furniture, it’s difficult to envisage the World Cup-winning keeper donning the gloves and minding any other net than Real’s, regardless of where he ranks in the pecking order.
The prospect of pocketing mega bucks in the MLS or similar pre-retirement destination may one day appeal, but a Premier League switch doesn’t look likely.
The feather in the cap of any billionaire owner, Ibra rates among the finest potential marquee signings in the business.
Refusing to try out at Arsenal is the closest the mercurial Swede has come to turning out for a Blighty-based outfit, but Man City and Chelsea have both hoped in the past that the scent of their money could lure him to England.
Another totemic striker frequently blipping the radars of the Premier League’s elite, the Uruguayan was sought-after mainly by Manchester United and Liverpool this summer.
He’s thought to have rejected overtures from top-flight factions when choosing to sign for Paris Saint-Germain over a year ago, but it was only a matter of months before the links resurfaced again.