Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti has confirmed that Gareth Bale will make his debut for Los Blancos at some point during their weekend meeting with Villarreal and he’ll be hopeful of blowing the cobwebs off his ‘Eleven of Hearts’ celebration for his new fans.
The Welshman has gone as far as to trademark his post-goal posturing with the Intellectual Property Office and here are five other players who should do the same with their own unique contributions to the footballing world.
Marouane Fellaini’s afro
The living embodiment of Manchester United’s underwhelming transfer window will at least drastically improve the barnet diversity on the Old Trafford training ground.
However, with Belgium teammate Axel Witsel rocking a very similar do, it might be wise for the ex-Toffee to trademark his ‘fro in case Witsel does so first and forces him to shave his off.
Andre Villas Boas’ crouch
In a Premier League management fraternity staffed largely by wizened old pros with no knees, AVB’s on-the-haunches crouch – employed when deep in technical area ponderance – sets him apart as the youthful face of English football management.
Those supple calves, unfettered by years of hard tackles or a football career of any sort, allow the Portuguese to keep his ears close to the ground, where he can hear things other gaffers can’t.
Steven Taylor’s secret handball mastery
No not the sport silly. Taylor has carved a niche for himself in English football as the master of the lunatic handball.
He has been guilty of so many penalty area handballs (see his legendary just-been-shot clemency bid after saving a Darius Vassel shot against Villa in 2005) that referees mostly let him off these days.
If the Newcastle man doesn’t want the secret defensive weapon that allowed him to successfully handball away a scoring opportunity with impunity against Man City on the season’s opening day falling into opposition hands he best call his brief.
Theo Walcott’s sideburns
The marketing potential of author and part-time Arsenal winger Walcott’s bum-fluff burners has been under direct threat from just about every 12-year-old in the country for years.
Rickie Lambert’s beetroots
Tales of the time during Lambert’s years in the footballing wilderness when he had to work at a beetroot factory in order to make ends meet were all over the media after his fairy-tale England debut.
With his time in the Three Lions limelight likely to vanish as soon as Messrs Sturridge, Welbeck and Rooney are back in the fold, now is the time to capitalise on his household name status by bringing out his own brand of the delicious pickled salad snack.
Bwin are offering money back on losing first goal scorer, last goalscorer, player to score 2 or more, player to score 3 or more, correct score, 1st half correct score and multiple correct score bets if Real Madrid fail to mark Bale’s debut with a win against Villarreal.