Let’s not beat around the bush here, if Roy Hodgson has failed to implement an England-squad-wide Clockwork Orange-style forced viewing of The Italian Job he’s missed a trick.
Peter Collinson’s 1969 caper classic is a bona fide allegorical victory blueprint for the Steven Gerrard-skippered 7/4 underdogs.
In the highly unlikely event of the Three Lions supremo eschewing this blockbuster news.bwin.com/en/ idea, we’ve outlined five key lessons the picture can teach us about how to down Cesare Prandelli’s 17/10 favourites.
Only the ace faces will do for this job.
Charlie Croker knew better than to go in with anyone but the best, bringing in HMP royalty Mr Bridger and chubby-chasing computer wizard Professor Peach before the off.
Forget dropping Wayne Rooney, he’s the bloody business.
Remember, “You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!”
In the Amazonian closeness of Manaus there’s no sense hurling everything at the opposition in the opening skirmishes.
Chucking everyone forward in search of the opener could leave England vulnerable on the counter attack and lead-chasing won’t be fun in these conditions.
Interfere with their traffic control system.
In Rome, downing a supercomputer was the way to go, in Brazil it’ll mean Rooney climbing down the back of Andrea Pirlo’s shorts.
However, while Professor Peach’s virus was the masterstroke for the Croker gang, his pal Birkinshaw had also taken the liberty of shutting off the CCTV.
Likewise England must disable Marco Veratti, who can be every bit as influential as the Italian figurehead.
Hightail it to back to the stronghold straight after the heist and barricade the gates.
Once Daniel Sturridge gives the Three Lions the lead – read why he’s the man for the job here – the Azzurri are sure to go ballistic.
Croker’s merry band of awaydaying robbers made the shrewd move of pulling into the Museo Egizio and bolting the huge doors on the angry mob after nabbing their quarry.
Five minutes of calm and unadventurous post-goal consolidation is a Manaus must for Hodgson’s raiding party.
After the smash and grab, switch to the small, nippy movers to make off with the loot.
Once England have pinched the lead and weathered the initial storm in response, it’s time to get the gold into the Mini Coopers and do one.
Introducing the quick-thinking Raheem Sterling or Ross Barkley from the bench as the clock ticks down is the perfect way to peg back Prandelli’s pursuers.