One of the singular joys of any World Cup is the smorgasbord of comedy player names it presents ready made for armchair commentator riffing.
After all who could forget Spain’s Roberto Lopez Ufarte or Paraguay full-back Francisco Chiqui Arce?
With this in mind, news.bwin.com/en/ runs down an utterly subjective list of the more amusingly-titled protagonists on show in Brazil, from the slapstick to the fantastic, to the simply sarcastic:
Tommy Oar, Australia
In trying to qualify from a Group B that also features Spain, the Netherlands and Chile, the Socceroos may be up the proverbial creek, but at least they’ve got Tommy Oar.
They look a succulent wager at 1/5 to finish rock bottom of their section.
Gaeten Bong, Cameroon
With WADA thought to have vetoed the participation of Cheech, Chong, Harold and Kumar, the pro-marijuana lobby will have no choice but to turn to the Indomitable Lions’ Olympiakos left-back.
Yeltsin Tejada, Costa Rica
Voted most likely to perform a drunken face plant during the playing of a national anthem at the World Cup in an ethically-sound poll of one news.bwin.com/en/ writer.
John Boye, Ghana
Perhaps Luke Burgess, the only one of the four-strong Burgess brothers not to get the nod for England in the 2013 Rugby League World Cup, is the only man who can relate to how Jason, Ben and Billy-Bob Walton feel right now.
Memphis Depay, Netherlands
Given the Oranje’s disappointing group-stage exit at Euro 2012, who would begrudge Louis van Gaal bringing along a delta blues singer to calm the mood in a notoriously fractious camp.
Macnelly Torres, Colombia
Probably the finest cultural-melange name witnessed at a World Cup since USA star DaMarcus Beasley, still going strong, first introduced himself to the world.
Carlo Costly, Honduras
A real commentator’s dream Carlo, with summarisers the Anglophone world over barely able to contain their amusement in anticipating Honduras’ demise thanks to a Costly error.
Joe Corona, USA
After Nicklas Bendtner received censure for his sponsored-underpants exposing at Euro 2012 the creeping tentacles of big advertising are using more subtle methods to hawk their fizzy, thirst-quenching wares.
Lee Bum-Young, South Korea
Say no more.
Franco di Santo, Argentina
Yes you did read that right, his name itself may not be gut-bustlingly amusing, but the fact that it features in Jose Pekerman’s provisional squad, one that omits Carlos Tevez, justifies his inclusion here.