Hot on the heels of Uruguay supporters blaming their World Cup exit on the customs confiscation of their team’s favourite caramel spread, Brazilians are gunning for Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger after Germany’s 7-1 semi-final throttling of Luiz Felipe Scolari’s hosts.
Apparently, because three countries lost almost immediately after Jagger declared they would win earlier in the tournament, the locals believe the aged rocker’s support jinxed their team into oblivion.
Er…maybe these guys had a bit more of a hand in the biggest shock scoreline in international football history than old rubber lips, no?
Brazil had the bare-faced audacity to appeal the, in the player’s words, ‘silly’ yellow card Silva received against Colombia for rolling the ball into the goal after fouling goalie David Ospina.
The PSG captain isn’t that good and Germany would have won anyway, but we’ll never know by how many fewer if ‘O Monstro’ was marshalling the bedraggled Selecao backline.
While it was a nice idea to dangle the carrot of a Maracana showpiece, Brazil would surely have preferred to play a match in Rio beforehand as well.
France played their last three games of World Cup 1998 in Paris en route to lifting the trophy for the first time, and an earlier jaunt to their spiritual capital could have settled Scolari’s clearly nerve-wracked side down.
What have they been teaching incoming Canarinho on the Russian border?
Fernandinho, a leading candidate for Brazil’s worst player and chump of the tournament, spent eight seasons in Ukraine learning how to lose the ball and alienate teammates, and Neymar’s ineffective replacement Bernard currently plies his trade at the Donbass Arena.
The 11 other Brazilian’s in Shakhtar’s squad won’t be expecting a call from Scolari, or his potential replacement, any time soon.
If the man who broke Neymar hasn’t already left Brazil, we urge him to do so now.
What £50m buys you these days.
The Scolari/Carlos Alberto Parreira axis
Pairing Brazil’s 1994 World Cup winning manager with the 2002 vintage was a bold move that failed emphatically.
Some would say combining the expertise of Parreira as technical coordinator with coach Scolari was a no-brainer, but the problem with having two rudders is the boat often doesn’t know which way to turn.
For convincing the world that Fred was a Champions League-level striker during his four years in France, when 34 ricochets must have accounted for an unshabby goal-record over 88 games.