No matter how much transition England are going through right now, anything but an utterly convincing 1/100 win over San Marino at Wembley will be met with the most arched of eyebrows by their football-watching public.
Can the visitors possibly take three points at 100/1, or grab a 31/2 draw?
No, but here are a few occasions when they at least gave their fans something to shout about.
Going ahead after eight seconds at home to England in 1993
The sight of Ian Wright trundling off the Bologna pitch in a barely-concealed rage, after scoring four goals, said everything about Graham Taylor’s last match as national team manager.
England needed to win by seven clear goals and hope Poland beat Holland. Davide Gualtieri’s early opener seemed to confirm their fate, and Taylor became the first Three Lions gaffer to miss out on World Cup qualification in 16 years, despite his side’s 7-1 victory.
Grabbing a point in Latvia during World Cup 2002 qualifying
Former Southampton favourite Marian Pahars put the hosts in front within the first minute in Riga, but Nicola Albani drew San Marino level just before the hour mark, with his side seeing out their first score draw in competitive action.
That point was just the second San Marino had ever claimed, following a 0-0 draw with Turkey eight years earlier. They’re yet to get a third.
Equalising against Belgium in 2001
Later on in that qualifying campaign, La Serenissima gave a Belgium side containing current coach Marc Wilmots a fright in the Serraville Stadio Olimpico.
Wilmots put the visitors ahead after ten minutes, only for the hosts to hit back right from the restart.
They stayed level for almost an hour, before Gert Verheyen, Wesley Sonck and Wilmots again, from the penalty spot, put the boot in late on.
Repeating the feat four years later
A Rode Duivels side replete with the likes of Vincent Kompany, Daniel van Buyten and Emile Mpenza received an even worse rattling back at the same stadium in 2005.
This time it was Andy Selva who pulled San Marino back into the game after 40 minutes, following Timmy Simons’ converted penalty earlier on, but Van Buyten pounced to kill off the insurrection in the second half.
Drawing with Liechtenstein away, then beating them at home
Having come from behind twice at their opponents’ Vaduz home in August 2003, San Marino’s first, and thus far only win came courtesy of a sole Selva goal, in front of 700 adoring fans.